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| Fleur and Griffin today |
Back in the middle of October, Mrs. Random started teaching me her household finance/budgeting system. By now, I’ve gotten a pretty good grasp of it, even if I forget little details now and then. We’ve gone through two end-of-months and are about to go through an end-of-year process. Today I noticed something she’d done on the December spreadsheet that didn’t make immediate sense to me, so we got into a conversation about that particular thing—her reasoning, etc.—and then one thing led to another and before we knew it, we were talking about “old age,” which isn’t that far off!
I’ll be eighty in fifteen-and-a-half years, with her just a couple years behind me. By then we’ll definitely want to be very much downsized from where we are now—both in terms of possessions and living space. If we stay in this house, we’ll likely want to have the upstairs remodeled so a caretaker/caregiver could live up there. Otherwise, and I think probably more likely, we would want to move to a smaller, one-floor domicile. In any event, we want to be free of most of the responsibilites of house upkeep, yard work, and so on.
Strange to be discussing our octogenarian years! But time does sneak up. Both of Mrs. R’s parents were still doing pretty well when they hit eighty, but within the next five or so years both experienced dramatic decline, her dad (RIP) mainly physically, but he definitely suffered some delusions during his last couple years; and her mom mainly in the memory department. She is down to bare minutes of recall ability in daily life. Both of my parents still have their marbles, but my mom experiences chronic pain and is using a walker, and my dad is slowing down for sure. Inevitably, at some point, the human body/mind complex starts disintegrating, to put it bluntly. We think it would be best for us to prepare for that impending reality as gracefully as possible, especially since we are childfree and can’t depend on offspring to assist and/or goad us!
Lynne and I, of course, are in the same boat as you and Mrs. Random. The future truly is sneaking up, ever more quickly, so it isn't that strange for us to be discussing our octogenarian years.
ReplyDeleteLynne and I already have our smaller, one-floor domicile: our "starter" home will be our last until the inevitable need for one or both of us to move into an assisted-living or care facility. Like you two, we also wish to age as gracefully as possible (who doesn't?!). My parents started to really decline once they hit their eighties, so I want to make the most of my years between now and when I reach the 80-years-old milestone.
Yes, your house is perfect for aging bodies. Ours will become more of an obstacle course over time :)
DeleteD and I talk about this too. It was one of the reasons we moved a couple years ago.
ReplyDeleteAlso, we talk about it with friends/family often both to get ideas and so our wishes are known. I've watched too many "older" people in my life sit home, alone, and lonely, in their last few years. That isn't something that is attractive to me, but knowing the right time to make a switch, especially since we won't have kids to guide us or assist will be tricky.
I'm worried about the loneliness issue too. Speaking for myself, I think I will need to force myself into some kind of social situation, some kind of group living situation or some kind of organized regular social activity. And dealing with stuff! Having less. At this point, I enjoy my yard and kitchen work, but I can see how it could become too much at some point. Or done, but done badly. And as you say, timing is tricky. I think you have to do it before you want to, when you have energy, because otherwise the time isn't right until it's basically too late.
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